


Am I wrong?

by Pinxku



Series: Detroit: Become Connor Fan [6]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Connor (Detroit: Become Human) is Bad at Feelings, Connor Deserves Happiness, Depressed Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Deviant Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Good Parent Hank Anderson, Hank Anderson & Connor Parent-Child Relationship, Hank Anderson Deserves Happiness, Hank Being Awesome, Insecure Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Poor Connor, Prompt Fic, Sad Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:27:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23446993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pinxku/pseuds/Pinxku
Summary: Prompt by EluvianConnor starts to think that his existence is wrong due to the latest developments in his life.Was he wrong?Was he the reason Hank could not have. Happiness?How did he end up sitting on this railing watching the cold water below? Just one move and it would be over.It would be the right thing to do.
Relationships: Hank Anderson & Connor
Series: Detroit: Become Connor Fan [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1121910
Comments: 20
Kudos: 236





	Am I wrong?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Eluvian](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eluvian/gifts).



> Prompt:
> 
> but it came to my mind that  
> Hank at once talks about nobody having relationship with humans because everybody just gets an android
> 
> Connor might get the idea that his existence is wrong, and because he is a good guy he wants humans to have healthy relationships with each other, thus he ants to elimiates himself from existence. Kinda. But then Hank (or whoever else) finds out and they tear up when they realise what this android was thinkingLike Hank could just dunno.. bust Connor when he tries to randomly go back to Cyberlife for deactivationAnd ask Boy the hell are you doingand then Connor confesses, well, my presence might hurt you so i will end it

Connor doesn't know how it started.

Or how it lead to him being here sitting on the bridge railing. Watching the unforgiving icy water flow far underneath his feet. One push and he would be no more. 

**Stress levels; 89%**

He was afraid. Terrified. He didn't really want to die yet. But his it was the right thing to do. Hank deserved to have a good life and a relationship. A Family. One of which Connor was not part of.

Once Hank said People didn't have proper relationships anymore because of androids. It really didn't bother him them he was a machine back then.

But now?

It bothered him.

Maybe it started after their crime scene. An android and human double homicide. Killed because of their relationship. Murdered by the human's wife after the husband had left her for the android. 10 years of marriage thrown away.

It bothered him because neither of them would have died if they hadn't been together. If they just stuck to their own kind.

Part of Connor knew that was not the right way to think. After all, they were looking for equality among humans and androids. So the relationships could be made. So they all would have the right to love who they wanted.

It bothered him.

But that was just the start.

The real kick came when Hank met this woman. Erika. She was around his age. Beautiful. Smart. Caring.

But she didn't like androids.

Therefore, she did not like Connor.

And Hank can't have that if they want to be more.

Hank kept trying to convince her. Show her that they were not that bad. But she refused to see it. And it hurt Hank. Connor knew it did. He saw it. Because he loved her. He loved her so much. But he loved Connor too.

Not the way he loved her. Connor was like his son. One who brought him back from the edge of the dark abyss of depression after the loss of Cole.

He loved her but like any good parent not enough to let go of his son.

He loved her and Connor was the only thing between him and happiness.

And that hurt Connor. Hank was so important to him. His best friend. Family. He wanted to make the grumpy man happy. He wanted to see that happy gleam in those blue eyes after those dates he goes to with her.

He tries to stay out of their way. Maybe it would help.

It doesn't.

So every time he sees that sad look in Hank's eyes because they had argued about Connor again. It pains him. It pains him that the sad look in his eyes was because of him.

But the happy gleam started to be a rarer sight. The sad look became more frequent. And Connor's doubts started to grow.

Was he wrong?

This was his fault after all. If he wasn't here Hank could have his happiness. Erika would be happy too. They would be happy together. It wasn't too late to get a child. Start another family. The lifespan of a human had grown so much over the past 10 years.

It would just be better if he wasn't there. For all of them. He could leave. No... That wouldn't work. Hank would look for him. Try to get him back. And what if he leaves? Where would he go? The androids hate him for what he was made to do no matter how much Markus tries to convince him. Humans hate him by default for what he is.

And if he leaves it would be inevitable to get attached and eventually be standing in the way again. The best way would be just to stop existing. Right?

By his Calculations, it would be 89% success.

It horrifies him that he even thinks about it and pushes it away.

Next time it comes back to his mind is when she confronts him about it. Telling him how it would be better if Connor wasn't there to ruin everything. How they don't need an android to be in the way of their happiness.

Connor can't say he doesn't agree. He doesn't tell Hank about it.

Hank had been getting worse. He looks sad and stressed but tries to smile for Connor. It doesn't fool the android. Other co-workers have started to notice how Hank has been down lately since his mood has been better after Connor came.

They ask him about it but Connor can't really answer.

He hears Hank cry in his room after another fight.

It's his fault.

And then Hank finds out about what she said to him. She must have let it slip when they fought. Hank is not happy about it.

When he comes home he tells Connor they broke up and Connor panics. Hank was throwing away his happiness for Connor. It makes him want to cry. 

His fault. His fault. His fault.

He convinces Hank to give it one more try.

And now he is here. At the park, Hank once asked if he was afraid to die. Where he and Hank came after that case in Eden Club.

Two lovers. After Connor had stepped away from between their love. Symbolic.

**Stress levels: 93%**

His hands shook. Maybe it was the stress or fear. The cold dark water calling for him.

It was for the best.

Hank would be happy.

Erika would be happy.

Connor would be happy that Hank was happy.

Hank would be sad at first. But he has Erika. She would be there for him. He would get over it.

It was the right thing to do. 

It was.

It had to be.

Just one step...

As he was about to let go, firm familiar hands wrap around him. Squees and pull him. 

Hank.

Hank was holding him desperately. Firm and if human painful hold on Connor's mid-section.

"Jesus Kid what the hell are you doing?" He rasps. Shaky.

**Stress levels 97%**

Connor doesn't know what to do. It was the right thing to do. He was in the way, he was wrong.

He couldn't struggle. Not this close to the edge the chance of dropping Hank is too big.

"Son. Please let's talk about this" Hank sounds desperate trying to pull him. And Connor just goes.

He had failed.

Hank pulls him far away from the railing. Once he feels like far enough he turns Connor around and pulls him into his embrace.

"Jesus, Don't you ever do that again. What the hell we're you thinking" his voice is shaky. Unable to rise above a whisper. Hugging the android close. Desperate.

The reality of what he had been about to do finally hit him. He clings to Hank as his frame starts to shake. Sobs racking his body.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I have to I have to!" He doesn't even know what he was saying. He was scared. He was worried. He was in the way.

Hank wasn't having any of it.

"Shhh... Let it out son. It's going to be okay" They rock on the cold ground. Hank arms around Connor. Whispering sweet comforting nothings in his ears as the young android cries.

It takes a long time before Connors sobs turn to sniffles. Hank just holds him comforting him.

"Why?" He asks when Connor finally quiets.

Connor shakes hiding his face into Hank's neck before he mutters"I had to... I'm- I'm in the way" 

Hank shakes his head running his fingers through Connor's hair.

"In the way of what son?"

"Your and Erika's happiness"

Hank shakes his head. Few tears of panic and heartbreak glossing his own eyes.

"No, that's not true. You are not in the way" 

"But I am! It's my fault you two can't be happy together" Connor argues weakly.

"No. Con... It's not. It's her fault. For not trying to see the bigger picture. I thought I loved her. But she is just not for me"

Connor moves to argue.

"No- Listen to me. It's not just her dislike for androids. There are other things too. We just don't match. I thought we did at first but more I got to know her the more it became clear. It's not your fault you hear me Connor?"

"Not my fault?" Connor mimics. Feeling and looking like a helpless child.

"Not your fault"

Connor feels like something big was taken from his shoulders. Hank tightens his embrace on the boy before pulling away.

"Let's go home kid. We have some things to discuss"

**Author's Note:**

> I kinda like it. I kinda hate it. What do you think?
> 
> I have noticed how my stories use the repeating thing. Idk how I feel. Part of me loves it but I have a certain dislike for fics with too fast pace and no details. Still I like how this one works. They are different. But is it too much like those fics?
> 
> Thank you for the prompt Eluvian I hope it was satisfactory.
> 
> Thank you for reading. Leave a like and comment those are appropriated!
> 
> Say hi at Tumbler @pinxku22
> 
> Stay safe!


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